I have had my blog for close to 13 years. I passed in this time from my 40s to my 50s. The circumstances changed in this time: I moved from Mexico City to Berlin; I had to make new friends, look for a new job. So, the comparison between how life was in 2013 and how it is now, in 2026, is flawed.

But what might have been an even stronger change than place or job was time, and what it did to me. People tell me I look “exactly the same” as I did 15, 20 years ago, which obviously is not true. Honestly, no one does. Some age better than others, and I might age in a pretty decent way, but still, what definitely changed is how your environment sees you. And here comes in a fact that Gillian Anderson, actress and activist, presented really well in The Invisibility Plot Twist:

Apparently, women over 50 are disappearing, becoming invisible

…

You’re noticed, you’re needed, 

You’re whistled at

You’re even hit on

And then poof

A few years later

You don’t exist

You’re in the way

They wonder what the hell you are still doing here

…

It’s everywhere in our society

Some people, gentlemen

The youth of today

Sometimes forget that

We’re their mothers

Their sisters, friends, spouses

It doesn’t seem to shock anyone

Or for that matter concern anyone

That we have become invisible

I have noticed this “invisibility plot” myself. I do notice it all the time. Younger people just do not look at me; sometimes they look right through me. Even men my age might do that. Some women my age sometimes exchange glances in a solidary way, as if they want to express: you and me, we belong to the same sisterhood, the one of women over 50.

Obviously, I did not only change continents and my work place during the last 13 years. My children grew up from primary school students to adults. And my husband decided to end our marriage. So, two roles that were quite dominant over the last two decades – the one of mother, the one of wife – have experienced serious readjustments. I will always be a mother, but fortunately my sons navigate their lives quite well. The wife chapter is closed.

So, for a while, I have had more time to take on new roles: be a more active friend than I was maybe in the busy family years before, spend more time with my ageing parents, discover Berlin, learn and enjoy how to be a follower in dancing, work on my writing, etc. In these years, I have definitely gained perspective, wisdom and the desire to say “f*uck off” in several occasions and to several people. Like Anderson concludes in The Invisibility Plot Twist:

So why not be curious

Embrace it, admire it

Celebrate it, respect it

…

Even if you think I´m easy to

Dismiss as an angry

Menopausal feminist

The fact is I have never felt better

…

I feel like I have gained 

Not lost, gained

Gained perspective, confidence

Wisdom and definitely

If not more than ever

The desire to say f*ck off

…

I am not going to disappear

I’m a voice and a mind and a body

Stronger and more present

And more unfiltered than ever

Link to the video (photo is also from YouTube):